Watching my sister and mom get cute jewelry and purses from their husbands and I’m just over here contemplating suicide staring at my goat skull.
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The Great British Bake Off: Everybody have fun :) :) I’m sure you’ll all do fine :) Your Swiss roll is so lovely :) :) :) Very nice :))) *Light ballet music*
Any American Cooking Show: YOU GUYS HAVE SIX SECONDS LEFT THEN THE BOMB E X P L O D E S *Gunfire* YOU THINK THAT COUNTS AS FOOD YOU PATHETIC SAD SACK *Ride of the Valkyrie blasting in the background* ILL SEND A BULLET THROUGH YOUR SKULL BEFORE I TAKE A BITE OF THAT *Banshee shriek
i know their music styles are incredibly different but i feel like if hozier and florence welch did a song together a rip in the universe would tear open from the inside of my skull and the machinations and deepest secrets of the universe would spill forth in a primeval deluge from which humanity would ascend its mortal shackles and spiral outward in a never ending cycle of the purest nirvana
- my wretched computer, whirring in pain: please your majesty may i update
- me, looking down at my subject from atop an ivory throne, sipping wine from a glass made out of a skull as i scroll through tumblr dot com: i think not
if i was a shapeshifter, half of my time would be spent making myself look androgynous and trimming up the things about my shape I’m not happy with, and half of my time would be spent making my teeth look just a little bit sharper than is normal, changing my eye-color subtly between slightly unsettling shades, and giving myself an intricate “tattoo” that just barely moves every couple of hours, until it’s in a whole new shape next time you look at me.
if i was a shapeshifter id have fat fucking tits
- david attenborough: look at these caribou
- me: :)
- david attenborough: watch a wolf kill one of the young
- me: :(
- david attenborough: the wolf needed to eat to survive
- me: :/
- david attenborough: look at these ducks
- me: :)
White bitches get a lil thick & they swear they some type of rare breed. Y'all still look like a foot ! So there’s that !
this so racist i hate this type of shit.
White bitches get a lil thick & they swear they some type of rare breed. Y'all still look like a foot ! So there’s that !
Anonymous asked:
Anyone ever tell you that you look like winona ryder?
I’ve been told I look like Kristen Stewart a handful of times, but never Winona Ryder. I’ll take that as a compliment, though. Thanks!
I truly envy people that don’t/have never had body image issues and eating/food issues..what does it feel like? to be okay with how you look, to understand how you look? to not fight with food all the time? it really is one of those lifelong struggles when I think about it I’ve been suffering since I was a child..it manifests itself in different ways but from one form of body dysmorphia and disordered eating to another it’s always there..you can really feel the poison boiling in your body it’s the worst
What you look for when you’re 16, you won’t look for when you’re 21.
something my grandmother once told me (via soulsscrawl)